Spring Cleaning

Spring is the time to open up the windows and clean up that dingy house that's been closed up all winter.  This year I'm going to do some "Self-Spring-Cleaning".  

I have always struggled with my weight.  With the exception of my brother(s), and people talking about me behind my back, I was never really made fun of because of my weight, I always had a good group of friends, so I didn't realize how big of a deal it actually is.

In January 2011, I was fed up with how I looked and felt.  I had absolutely no self-confidence and just hated what I saw in the mirror.  My friend and I decided to start a weight loss journey together - and we did great!   Over the course of 8 months or so I lost 50 pounds....50 pounds!!! I still wasn't where I wanted to be weight-wise, but was feeling so much better about myself, and I had so much more energy.  My mom and dad were so proud of me, especially my Dad - because he struggled his whole life with weight as well.  I literally felt on top of the world.

Well, As with all people who struggle with weight, My friend kinda backed off and I slowly became complacent and stayed "stuck" at my 50 pound loss for a long time.  I wasn't gaining so I was okay with it.  Over the course of 2012, I wavered between gaining and losing 10 pounds; but overall maintained the weight-loss.  

In October 2012, I lost my Dad. Devastated beyond comprehension, this was the crutch I needed to completely give up and just eat myself into oblivion.  I used that crutch - and I knew just what I was doing to my body - and even worse, I didn't care.  I just wanted to feel some form of comfort.  Unfortunately, food is my poisonous source of comfort.  So from October up until just recently, I pretty much ate whatever and however much I wanted without exercising.  Now, I haven't weighed myself, but I don't need to.  That same feeling I had back in January 2011 has crept back in.  I am not happy with what I see in the mirror.  I don't have that energy that I once enjoyed.  I'm on an unhealthy road.

I have decided that Instead of using the loss of my Dad as a crutch, I am going to use it as a stepping stone.  My Dad loved me very much and I know he would always be proud of me no matter what - that's just the kind of Dad he was - but nothing can beat the excitement he had when I lost the weight before.  He would always say "Little lady, I know what it is to diet, and I know it's not easy, your gonna hit numerous plateaus, and even gain weight back, it'll be frustrating but you gotta stick with it."  Well Dad, here's what I have to say to you, Thank you for your support and encouragement - Thank you for being the best Dad I could've ever asked for.  I now know what it is to diet, and I know it's not easy - but I'm gonna stick with it!  Please watch over me, Dad, I need you as I restart this life-long weight-loss journey.  

Here goes nothing....

Justifiably Julie

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